THE SUNDAY CURRENTLY | 29

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(This was supposed to be posted yesterday but the monthly dinosaur decided to drop by!(!!!!) So there, I had to bear with dysmenorrhea the whole day and just rest and sleep. On the brighter side, I’m feeling better today so I’m posting this now! Yay! 🙂)

Hiiii! Wow, it’s been ages since my last update, huh? No exaggeration but it’s been nearly 3 months since my last entry. And geez, the past months was a total bomb! I had soooo much fun! 🙂 Been to beach trips (like 2-3 beach trips a month!), had more time to actually sit down and read books and I got to reunite and spend more time with my friends and loved ones here in Aklan (though I’m also extremely missing some special people (and food!!!) back in Manila!!! :(). I hope I can beat my lazy butt though and post about my adventures some time in the following days *fingers crossed* but I promise to come up with some entries soon!

Anyway, on other news, it’s several days before Christmas (and New Year), loves! 🙂 I’m so ecstatic with this year’s ganap and I don’t actually know why but I am looking forward to this year’s celebration! Before that, and just to give you an update about my life recently, here’s my Sunday Recently vol. 29.

Reading

We Were Liars by E. Lackhart. This book’s pretty interesting because it’s kinda mysterious but I’ll still have to finish it to judge though. 😉

Listening

to Say You Won’t Let Go by James Arthur. I’m having #lss over this song for the past few days now that I even searched and learned the chords in uke! ❤

Thinking

of how to finish this paper for my raket so I can fully enjoy the remaining adventures of this month! Lol

Smelling

my brother’s pawis because he just came home from school and he’s standing in front of the electric fan! Haha!

Wishing

everyone will have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year! 🙂 Yep, the Christmas vibe is already in my system now. Haha!

Hoping

for awesome adventures before this year ends!!!

Wearing

a white shirt and maong shorts. I just came from a bath now; wasn’t able to take a bath yesterday. 😦

Loving

everything I am experiencing right now! Gee, I think I just found happiness again! 🙂

Wanting

An extra day (or maybe a day where I feel productive) so I can start buying gifts! Christmas is nearly less than 2 weeks from now!!

Needing

more decent hours of sleep. Seriously, I think there’s no difference when I was in Manila because I still get to sleep at around 12 AM or later every night!

Feeling

(much) happy than the previous months. I’d like to think this new environment has definitely made me happier these days. 🙂

There you go, a quick update about my (not-so-boring) life now! Yey! Hope to post more on the coming days. Cheers! Happy holidays, loves! 🙂

UNTITLED #36

Between the two of us, I’ve always known you as the stronger one. At times, I question myself if I was really the eldest because you think (and act) like someone older, definitely more mature than I am. You don’t even know this but I’ve always been astounded by how you’ve lived your life; you were braver, you have always lived boldly. While I enclosed myself on the four corners of my room, you went out and experienced these amazing, cool adventures.

But sometimes, I guess the stronger the people look in the outside, the more vulnerable they are in the inside. All this time, I had no idea of how you were struggling and the pain you were keeping all to yourself. That everytime you act as if you don’t care means you were hiding your deepest frustrations and heartaches about life. You were always the cheerful one, the one who looks out for everyone; but you also needed some comforting and guidance.

Maybe what I’m really trying to say is that I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I wasn’t there for you when you needed someone to talk to; or to simply listen to everything your heart wanted to scream. I’m sorry if you felt there was no one to stand by your side; to help you in defending what you really want. I’m sorry that you felt helpless yet you had to put up a smiling face to show to everyone.

And that I wish I’ve learned about it sooner so you never had to face everything alone.

UNTITLED #35

If you take me back to the start of this year, where I am right now will definitely be not how I’d imagine it. This place was supposed to be my fall back, the dead end if I decide I’ve overcome the “YOLO” stage and I want a stable career. I can’t help but wonder if all of these make sense. Why in the world did I choose to quit my job and leave everything I was able to build for myself in exchange to unemployment and zero plans for the future, right? But I guess the universe is working something out for me (which I am still on the lookout until now) and led me back to where I came from, literally.

Now, I’m back in my hometown. It’s where I grew up, it’s where my family and friends live, it’s supposed to be my comfort zone. But for some reasons, I feel like a stranger. It’s like being in a foreign place and everything seems unknown. I see a lot of familiar faces around me but I feel like I don’t even know how I should approach them. There’s this consciousness whenever I see them that I’ll just choose to avoid them instead of having to deal with the possible awkward conversations.

Another major adjustment is my daily routine. Living in the city, miles away from here has made me live each day in a routine that I have already adopted in my system. I wake up, go to work, come home to the apartment I live with my friends, then sleep. It’s just been a month now but I’m already dying to do something. This one totally needs some getting used to.

Most nights, I end up having the same thoughts. “Did I do the right decision?” followed by “what if I chose not to leave?” and that’s when I start overthinking (as usual) which leaves me restless.

im-lost

But whenever I turn to the other side of the bed and I see my mom sleeping (and hear her slightly snore because of a good night sleep), it brushes off all the questions in my head. I left the life I’ve built but I was given this chance to live a life together with the most important people in my life. Who am I to even think the decision I made was not worth it?

I’ve chosen to leave the previous page and I’m now on this new blank page waiting to be filled again with a lot of adventures (and probably misadventures along the way). I’m still oblivious, yes, but I just know the universe will send me the best stories to complete this page. And I’m more than thrilled to discover them as they unfold each day.

THE SUNDAY CURRENTLY | 28

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Gosh, I can’t believe I missed The Sunday Currently for two weekends! Funny how I’m always longing to do something on a Sunday so I can write something new on my entry but for the past two weeks that I had some activities, I wasn’t able to post anything at all!(!!) So I guess, today’s another chill day so for this weekend, I’m actually home! Yup, my birthday’s tomorrow and luckily I get to spend it here. So in this chill Sunday evening, here’s my Sunday Currently vol. 28.

Reading

Sunset by Karen Kingsbury. This lovely book is just so inspiring.

Listening

to Steady by Hey Ocean! O.M.G listen to this song and you’ll totally be in love with it, I swear!!!

Thinking

of many random things but definitely not about work. Lol

Smelling

the milky powder of Mik-mik! Haha! Favorite porebs!

Wishing

I get to enjoy the remaining two days at home before I leave on Tuesday. 😦

Hoping

to have a fun(?) and memorable(?) birthday!!!

Wearing

a white shirt and blue jersey shorts. You know the ultimate pambahay get up. Haha!

Loving

my exta loooong hours of sleep. Nothing beats the vibe of your home and the comfort of your bed. ❤

Wanting

more days filled with happiness, love and peace of mind. 🙂

Needing

More time to spend here at home! Gah, I guess I wouldn’t get enough! Should I stay here then and don’t go back to Manila? Hihi

Feeling

not-so-happy but not sad. I don’t know, maybe my mood swings’ striking these days.

Whatever you’re doing right now and whoever you’re with, make sure to enjoy each moment and make it count. Cheers to life! 🙂

UNTITLED #34

Have you ever planned things in your head and eager to make them happen? Like planning the most awesome vacation or plotting the best career steps or even dreaming the grandest date ever. Stories you carefully make up with every specific detail you want to be included. Things you would do and things you would avoid to prevent delays.

I don’t. But here’s a secret: during random days, I end up doing so. And sometimes, it’s frustrating and discouraging and hurtful all at the same time when these don’t happen in real life. You spend many sleepless nights only to let those happy instances stay in your mind. No chance of even happening; everything turning 360 degrees.

I’m not a believer of planning things out but once in a while, wouldn’t it be nice when things take place according to your will? Is that so much to ask? You only wanted the perfect time, the get the best out of a scenario, to scream “this is the best day ever!”

But… welcome to the real world; a giant circus ride turning and turning and turning without knowing when it’ll stop from giving you the unpredicted life happenings. The twists and turns, the ups and downs, the straight ways and the crossroads.

As frustrating as it gets, you’ve got no other choice but to live with what life has planned for you and hope that along the way, you’ll get the meaning of why these things don’t happen as you’ve dreamed. For now, breathe in, breathe out and live. Just live.